


not gay

by thelotusflower



Category: South Park
Genre: 5+1 Things, Coming Out, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay, Gay Panic, Jk idk if it is actually funny, M/M, i have no idea what this is, i just adore this trope more than ANYTHING, no homo here, not gay, seriously idk what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26219122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelotusflower/pseuds/thelotusflower
Summary: 5 times Craig and Tweek are not gay, and the 1 time they are.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 12
Kudos: 188





	not gay

**Author's Note:**

> they are not gay

i.

_ “Dude I’m not gay and neither are you!” _

_ “What does that have to do with anything!?” _

  
  


They aren’t  _ gay  _ — but they hold hands in town because Craig has changed something inside Tweek, making himself believe in himself like he never had before; now Tweek wants to help whatever is hurting inside Craig, in exchange. Craig does not know what is hurting inside him either, but he just knows he feels  _ bad _ , and if Tweek wants to help make that hurt go away, then he is going to let him.

They hold hands and give into the townspeople of South Park, along with their parents, all other stupid adults in town, and school facility. Everyone  _ thinks  _ and says they are gay, and they say they are gay in public, too, but it’s just about the  _ image.  _ They are not  _ actually  _ gay.

ii.

They are in art class one day when Tweek paints a portrait of their shared pet, Stripe #4. He shows it to Craig, and Craig says, “that is really cute, babe.”

It’s the first time he says it and he acts like he has said nothing peculiar at all — but Tweek definitely notices, going wide eyed and twitching, exclaiming “ _ WHAT!  _ ACK! What did you just call me?”

“What?” Craig stares up at him, seemingly barely engaged or alarmed, picking up his stare from his painting of a middle finger.

“ACK! You called me BABE! That’s totally GAY, man!” Tweek tugs on his hair, slamming his hands on the table. 

Craig shrugs a shoulder, “my parents say it to each other and they aren’t gay.”

“ACK!” 

“Would — um, _honey_ be better?” Craig asks, looking down at his painting awkwardly.

“AUGH! I don’t know.” His body jerks. “Either one, I, nngh, guess?”

Craig nods and says, “okay, honey,” before shifting his attention back to his own painting.

It’s not  _ gay _ — it’s just pet names.

  
  


iii.

  
  
  


They sit on a log at Stark’s pond, their legs aching from ice skating so long. Tweek is not wearing a coat, as usual, and is shivering from the winter chill.

Craig does not like that he is shivering — it’s painful to watch.

Craig unzips his hoodie, extending his arm out so Tweek can fit beside him and receive some of the warmth as well. Without saying anything, Tweek slides closer to him and huddles close to Craig, underneath his jacket.

They sit there a long time, nestled close together, with Tweek’s head resting on Craig’s shoulder. Tweek’s hair tickles his cheek; soft and silky, smelling like coffee grounds and soap. Craig thinks it smells good.

The position is pretty comfortable —  _ warm _ . It seems like they should logically do this all the time to keep warm.

So, they do.

Whenever they are sitting in the cold, they nestle up close together, arms wrapped and draped over each other — Tweek’s head always resting on his shoulder.

They even begin doing it when they are just doing stuff like watching TV or playing video games; it’s just  _ comfortable  _ and  _ cozy  _ and  _ unquestionably  _ better than just sitting apart.

It’s not  _ gay  _ though.

iv.

  
  


They are sitting on the bleachers during their lunch break —  _ lunch break,  _ not recess, they’re in  _ middle school now.  _ People are playing touch football a few yards from them and others are walking the track that surrounds them.

Tweek is leaning against him, his eyes closed and weighing down with tiredness from being up all night.

The day is cold, as is everyday in the mountains.

Craig is bored, and he heard that Clyde had a lot of fun kissing Bebe the weekend before, and well, Tweek has nice lips too … nicer than Bebe’s, so it would probably be fun to kiss Tweek too. 

Lips are all lips. It’s not like it’s  _ gay  _ to kiss lips when everyone, no matter the gender, has  _ lips. _

“Honey,” he whispers to him, shifting slightly in his position and poking Tweek in the side. Tweek raises his head and looks at him with tired, barely lifted cocoa eyes.

Then Craig just leans forward and  _ does  _ it because if he asks, Tweek will surely think  _ way  _ too much and freak out. 

Their teeth clank slightly together at the sudden impact. Tweek jerks slightly against Craig, but then he just stills a moment. 

Craig is sure that Tweek is going to pull away and start tugging at his hair and shouting some irrational nonsense but then Tweek proves him wrong: he parts his lips against Craig’s and the kiss becomes a lot more supple and softer; tender and gentle.

The two boys pull back, and Tweek has wide eyes, looking like he is going to just  _ blow  _ with anxiety and pressure at what’s happening. So Craig leans forward and kisses him again; this kiss even better than the last.

They kiss until the lunch break is over and by the end, Craig can agree with Clyde — kissing  _ is  _ fun. You don’t have to be gay to know that.

V.

Teenage hormones are overbearing and annoying, but their parents are  _ more so. _

Ever since they entered high school, they have been so  _ adamant  _ that they keep the door open. They have been saying it forever — ever since the Japanese girls drew pictures of them, but they never actually  _ enforced  _ until late.

They are in Tweek’s bed room, hormones high and on demand. They have been kissing for hours — they can barely be around each other without indulging in hour or more longer make out sessions.

They used to just  _ kiss  _ with their lips — no tongue. They talked about it — to Craig’s dismay.

“Kissing is totally gay, man,” Tweek told him.

“Only if we use tongue.” Craig argued.

Well, now after years of just using their lips, they can hardly keep their tongues out of each other's mouths. They blame the hormones — it’s totally not because they are  _ gay  _ because they are  _ not.  _

_ It's horomones. _

  
  
  


i.

  
  


They lay down next to each other in bed, sweaty, hot, and  _ naked. _

“Holy fuck,” Craig breathes out, his voice breathy — his breath still catching up to him, his heart pounding against his chest.

Tweek lays beside him, wide eyed, his head on Craig’s pounding heart, the bare skin hot against his cheek. He feels like he is on _fire;_ has taken a million different drugs. “Craig, I think,  _ nnngh,  _ we  _ are  _ gay.”

Craig laughs and his chest vibrates. He kisses the top of Tweek’s head, and lets out a sigh of pleasure. “Yeah, that was pretty gay."  
  
  
  
  
Turns out - they _are_ gay.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ok they are
> 
> let me know if you liked it please, and thank you for reading


End file.
